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...or could it have been WHAT you asked me... ...maybe it's WHEN you asked me... all i know is that YOU'RE ON FUCKIN' CRACK... |
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003 |
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Zwaarte Piet, the growing cultural rift in affluent Europa, and the crackspiracy theories therein | |
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I’m just gonna give y’all a stream of thought on this one, so bear with me here… there’s no real organization in the text that follows. There is a problem in Holland, and I think that it extends to greater Europa as well. The problem, I think, is one of either a superb general misunderstanding (from my buitenlander perspective, mind you), or perhaps it is plain old ignorance (not a lack of knowledge, but a predisposition to simply ignore) of modern societal niceties, but I think it's really just a problem of regular ol' cracksmokin'. I submit to you the example of the beloved and retched Zwaarte Piet.
Go read this article then come back, and we’ll continue our little conversation. Ok, so you’ve read the article… maybe the article didn’t make it clear enough if you’ve not been privy to de Heer Peit in-the-flesh – you know the old “blackface” characters from 1920s American films? – THAT’s what Zwaarte Piet is, no shit. Remember a few years ago when Ted Danson dressed up as ‘blackface’, and was very nearly lynched for it? That’s the difference here – whereas Ted Danson, a famous and beloved actor in his time, basically committed professional suicide with his little Halloween prank (he was dragged through the mud pretty heavily by the press if I remember correctly), Zwaarte Piet has his own cartoon character, dolls, cardboard buddy cut-outs, candy, parades, and fucking pajama feets. Like the article says, the Dutch will tell you that Zwaarte Piet’s appearance has nothing to do with racism at all – Zwaarte Piet is just Sinterklaas’ little buddy – oh, and by the way South African apartheid (the only pure Dutch word in the English language, mind you) had nothing to do with race either. Sure. So anyhow, I was at this snack shop a few days ago getting some patat oorlog (one word – lekker) and I happened to look at this Zwaarte Pete cardboard cut-out that was by the kassa – Piet had blue eyes! At first I was all WTF, but then I realized that he would only naturally have blue eyes since no self-respecting Afrikan would dare dress up as Zwaarte Piet and go acting like the slovenly fool that is expected of a good Piet. The way it actually works is they (‘they’ being the tv producers, carnival organizers, candy promoters, etc…) get a bunch of native Dutch fools to paint their faces black (black as in shoe polish black), put on a big ol’ wig (w/ extra soul glo’, mind you), and paint huge red lips on their faces. The significance of this is not just the fact that Piet is hugely insulting to a not-insignificant portion of the Dutch population, but also that Zwaarte Piet’s character is so ingrained with the entire Christmas season that you cannot escape it – so you are constantly surrounded by one of the most open forms of socially accepted racism in the modern world. And this comes from the people that like to think of themselves as the greatest multicultural society in the entire world. Bitch please – I have never in my life been surrounded by a greater number of racist bastards than I have during my stay in Holland… these people don’t mind non-Dutch, just so long as the non-Dutch know their place. Here is my perceived list of intensity of Dutch racism and/or prejudice, in order of greatest contempt: 1. Marokkanen – a Dutch politician actually said “Kut Marokkanen” on live TV once when he thought the cameras were off – that translates directly to “Fuck the Moroccans” 2. Turken – there’s no love for Turks either 3. Afrikanen – no explanation necessary 4. Joden – Holland actually offered their Jews to the Nazis – they didn’t wait to be asked… the French are guilty of this too, as I’m sure the Amerikanen would have been also had they been given the chance early enough. 5. Duitsers – 65 years after Holland very happily gave their Joden up, the Germans are still high on the hit-list – strangely though, the SS had a Dutch over-representation in their ranks. 6. Buitenlanders – anyone who ain’t Dutch So, while they contend that Zwaarte Piet is just an innocent child’s character, and while you might be inclined to agree with this and assume that what appears to be blatant racism to you is actually just you being overly sensitive, I believe that it’s all a charade – I’ve heard how these guys talk about their non-Dutch compatriots, and it’s not pleasant. This, I think, goes to Europa as a whole really – look at the former Yugoslavia, Chechnya, Armenia, and even Ellas – there are some serious racial harmony problems going on in those places. In Germany, Sweden, Holland, and France the new Nazis are gaining numbers and influence rapidly. Of course, this problem is not specific to just Europa – Japan has been, and continues to be, one of the most xenophobic countries in the world; the entire Muslim world is in the middle of an intense ethnic battle ranging from the far tips of Indonesia through to southeast Europa and on to the Americas. The difference here is that while the popular view of Holland as a socially accepting and culturally diverse country is perpetuated by the government, the news agencies and the natives, racism is blatantly practiced and accepted on all levels of society w/o any worries of hypocrisy. On the crackspiracy side of things, consider how close the US is to Holland both politically and monetarily – the US has a disproportionate amount of investments in Holland when compared to the rest of Europa… perhaps this helps to explain why Ted Danson, when dressing up as ‘blackface’ for Halloween, is crucified in the American press, yet most Americans have never even heard of Zwaarte Piet, the funny little blackface Afro-muslim slave of the Dutch Santa Claus. I think Europeans have been smoking too much of their own shit. Hilsen fra ams. |
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