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...or could it have been WHAT you asked me... ...maybe it's WHEN you asked me... all i know is that YOU'RE ON FUCKIN' CRACK... |
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May 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 August 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 October 2006 September 2010 December 2011 |
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004 |
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Absurd! | |
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To my knowledge, it takes a bunch of time/money to apply for a patent... so why in the world would you use such valuable effort to patent a freakin toilet snorkel?? | |
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 |
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The problem with search and how to fix it | |
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To answer this question I think we first need to take a step back and understand what people use search engines for. Most people will tell you something along the lines of "I use search to look for information on X". At one time this seemed pretty straight forward. You type in string and the search engine would look for occurrences of that string in indexed websites. Then came the web-spammers that would sneak in huge blocks of unrelated keywords into their webpages so say a porn site would come up when you search for "equestrian training".
In an ongoing tug-a-war, the search engines would implement new features to neutralize the web spammer's tactics, then the web spammers would find another way to cheat their way up on results pages. Thus was born the concept of "relevance". Google pioneered this space with their PageRank system, a series of algorithms that attempts to predict a websites relevance to a search string by how many other pages link to it, thus taking into account legitimacy as a factor of its relevance. This is a great way to come up with relevant search results when everyone defines something the same way. For instance if you're looking up information on a Honda car dealerships in California all you need type is "Honda California" into Google and the first result is Honda's own website followed by slew local dealerships. The problem arises if you happen to live in Honda, California and you are looking for a map of your town. Even a refined search for "Honda California Map" merely results in a listing of maps with instructions to get to various dealerships around California. The problem here has to do with how you define what you are looking for. With most products or concepts that have a common cultural definition today's search engines work great. But when you start delving into searches involving something more nebulous where terminology may vary, or the terminology may be eclipsed by some greater social meaning, search engines are actually pretty bad at serving up what you are looking for. So short of making a brainwave interface that connects to a computer using some advanced form of AI to determine what you are looking for, how will we ever have truly relevant searches? Simple... Build a personal context database for each search user that takes into account linguistic idiosyncrasies, historical search successes, and personal preferences, and use it to predict a webpage's relevance. The database could be built based on a user?s past searches, what they tended to click on, and more importantly how they rated the pages relevance in relation to what they were actually looking for. Over time this database would create a user's search profile and then compare it to other users who with similar search profiles. Applying this to our earlier example, a person who lives in Honda, California would be likely to rate the pages relating to their city as highly relevant so the next time the search is performed the results are more targeted. The next step would be to use this information to predict future search results. At a micro level, by putting Bob in a mathematical "neighborhood" with Joe and Mary, because they both found pages about Honda California relevant, the search engine can now reference Joe and Mary's preferences as it relates to Honda, California for Bob's searches thus increasing the likelihood of Bob finding something he wants the next time he searches. At the macro level this would be happening on billions of searches conducted by millions of users, so it's statistically sound as well. I can almost picture the day when I'll be able to type "crack pipe" into a Google search box and have it pull up a list of plumbers instead of drug paraphernalia sites;-P |
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Only in der nederlands | |
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 I remember the open outdoor urinals while in Amsterdam last year and thought to myself "that's not very fair for the chicks". Ladies... your time of excretory dissonance has come to an end! Now from the original crack smokers who brought you "coffee shops" and eye jewelry comes the P-Mate
All joking aside, I'm curious what women really think of this? Good idea? |
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Best invention of 2004! | |
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Hahaha... part of me doesn't want to propogate such an asinine scam, but anyone who's cranially deficient enough to actually buy one of these things deserves getting swindled out of 30 bucks. And what with an "in progress rewind sound" and an "exclusive Centriptal Velocity Spindle" this thing is a steal!
World's Fastest DVD Rewinder |
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004 |
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Feeling Clucky? | |
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I've been thinking about death and babies a lot lately. And since the thought of death just really effin sux, my brain is equipped with a cool fail-over like mechanism that switches to baby thoughts when I ponder too long on the d-word. Frontal-Lobe-VRRP does exist comancheros.
I know I am a lot older than my blogmates, so I don't expect that any of you will be able to sympathize with this entry, but know this: your time will come mofos... oh yes it will. Muuuaahaahahahhaha!* (evil Mum-Ra The Everliving laugh of ThunderCats fame) *ahem* But seriously, a kiddie would be so cool for me right now. And get this... I want a baby girl. Yeeeeeaaaah... boys may be cool to play catch with, but when I am old(er) and shittin' myself, my daughter (or daughters... yes, wait, there's more) will wipe me clean and apply medicated Vitamin E lotion in my crack to soothe the pain of passing stool at 95yrs old. Yes, daughters loves up on the da-da. So I picture my first girl as being a tough likkle warrior princess type. Very intelligent and authoritative. She will run a major global corporation or become the 1st woman to win the F1 driver's championship. Effin dope. I think I want 3 girls... yeah. One of them is gonna be the "Bohemian" (I think this will be the ever problematic "middle child"). Yes, this is the one I will send to summer school in Paris - the others will complain thusly: WTF daddy? WE didn't get to go to effin PARIS!!! I will laugh and buy them jewelery and shoes - only for me to get a call from Malacca a month later in which she confesses that she "took a detour" and has "run out of money". Man, I will rage like stepped-on-cobra, but I will get her the cash, get her back home, and then ground that bitch for life (even if she's 24). The littlest one will be a real down-to-earth free spirit type. I won't tell the others (Shhhh!) but she will be my favourite. She won't be super brilliant like #1 Daughter or the Bohemian (the Bohemian has to be smart coz she will be a schemer), but baby three will go as far as she can honestly, and then one day she and I will have a convo like this: Fiona (the free spirited): I'm quitting uni daddy Moi: *playing it cool* Really? why? Fiona: It's not for me. I'm not into getting a degree just to prove a point. I'd rather go out into the world, be useful and have a life I can really enjoy. Moi: So what's the plan? Fiona: I'm gonna go to Belize to teach English and surf. Moi: Cool. How you getting there? Fiona: *grins* Daaaaaaaddddddyyyyyyyyyy Yeah, she'll be dope like that. And you know I'll be a sucka for that fool. So yeah, My 3 Girls... just like that 50's TV show. Pity I can't envision the mommy... not yet anyway. One of the few times I envisioned a wijfie was when I was thinking about my deathbed. My daughters and their mother all cryin' and shit. And me being re-assuring and letting go sad-movie styleee. Then fail-over kicked in... Back to BABIES! Yeah, so maybe I should adopt. Hmmm... maybe I should have a shag. Hahahaha! With my luck, I'll probably have three boys out of wedlock. Life's a bitch. |
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004 |
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Yahoo's on crack | |
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In a pathetic attempt to catch up to GMail, Yahoo! Mail has upped their storage to 100MB. Still, Yahoo! was already ahead of of Hotmail by 4 megabytes, so this leaves not-so-poor MSN trailing by 98MB behind Yahoo! Mail and 998MB behind GMail. | |
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Monday, June 14, 2004 |
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FUCKED UP ONLINE SHIT! | |
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Okay Marc is a little pissed off... First there was the "this is really creepy phase" then there was the "oh I'm kinda flattered phase" and now I'm just mad. Some jackass is parading around as me on MySpace using my pic:
Invasion of the Face Snatchers I'm also a little concerned now about who else might be doing the same! This is the kinda shit that makes me not want to have a blog, not want to put my photo online, and not be online in general! Grrrr..... Update 10/14: Since e-mailing him and his harem of girls, he's replaced my pic with pics of his dog.... Man, this guy must be realllly heinous looking to use my ugly mug, then put his dogs uglier mug up! |
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Friday, June 11, 2004 |
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Unenviable names | |
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YIKES! These poor... poor... poor women. What on earth were their parents thinking (or smoking)?
http://www.ns.nie.edu.sg/faculty/chewsf.htm http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/coldwellbankerpbr.com/gaye-males/ |
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