|
|||||||||||||||||
| Just callin' it it as we see it | |||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
...or could it have been WHAT you asked me... ...maybe it's WHEN you asked me... all i know is that YOU'RE ON FUCKIN' CRACK... |
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
| Archives | |||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
May 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 August 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 October 2006 September 2010 December 2011 |
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
| Contributing Authors | |||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
Tuesday, June 22, 2004 |
|
Feeling Clucky? | |
|
||
|
||
|
I've been thinking about death and babies a lot lately. And since the thought of death just really effin sux, my brain is equipped with a cool fail-over like mechanism that switches to baby thoughts when I ponder too long on the d-word. Frontal-Lobe-VRRP does exist comancheros.
I know I am a lot older than my blogmates, so I don't expect that any of you will be able to sympathize with this entry, but know this: your time will come mofos... oh yes it will. Muuuaahaahahahhaha!* (evil Mum-Ra The Everliving laugh of ThunderCats fame) *ahem* But seriously, a kiddie would be so cool for me right now. And get this... I want a baby girl. Yeeeeeaaaah... boys may be cool to play catch with, but when I am old(er) and shittin' myself, my daughter (or daughters... yes, wait, there's more) will wipe me clean and apply medicated Vitamin E lotion in my crack to soothe the pain of passing stool at 95yrs old. Yes, daughters loves up on the da-da. So I picture my first girl as being a tough likkle warrior princess type. Very intelligent and authoritative. She will run a major global corporation or become the 1st woman to win the F1 driver's championship. Effin dope. I think I want 3 girls... yeah. One of them is gonna be the "Bohemian" (I think this will be the ever problematic "middle child"). Yes, this is the one I will send to summer school in Paris - the others will complain thusly: WTF daddy? WE didn't get to go to effin PARIS!!! I will laugh and buy them jewelery and shoes - only for me to get a call from Malacca a month later in which she confesses that she "took a detour" and has "run out of money". Man, I will rage like stepped-on-cobra, but I will get her the cash, get her back home, and then ground that bitch for life (even if she's 24). The littlest one will be a real down-to-earth free spirit type. I won't tell the others (Shhhh!) but she will be my favourite. She won't be super brilliant like #1 Daughter or the Bohemian (the Bohemian has to be smart coz she will be a schemer), but baby three will go as far as she can honestly, and then one day she and I will have a convo like this: Fiona (the free spirited): I'm quitting uni daddy Moi: *playing it cool* Really? why? Fiona: It's not for me. I'm not into getting a degree just to prove a point. I'd rather go out into the world, be useful and have a life I can really enjoy. Moi: So what's the plan? Fiona: I'm gonna go to Belize to teach English and surf. Moi: Cool. How you getting there? Fiona: *grins* Daaaaaaaddddddyyyyyyyyyy Yeah, she'll be dope like that. And you know I'll be a sucka for that fool. So yeah, My 3 Girls... just like that 50's TV show. Pity I can't envision the mommy... not yet anyway. One of the few times I envisioned a wijfie was when I was thinking about my deathbed. My daughters and their mother all cryin' and shit. And me being re-assuring and letting go sad-movie styleee. Then fail-over kicked in... Back to BABIES! Yeah, so maybe I should adopt. Hmmm... maybe I should have a shag. Hahahaha! With my luck, I'll probably have three boys out of wedlock. Life's a bitch. |
|
|
||
|
||
If you think this page needs a copyright then you need to get off the rock.